Loneliness. Weakness. Darkness.

Throughout the next few journal entries, Nouwen clearly shows the dark times that he is experiencing. As I read, the entries become more emotional and a lot of them emphasize the loneliness, weakness and darkness of a person.  Now why is this important? 

I believe that in each and everyone of us there is an area of gloom, that space that longs for love, strength and light.  This place is where Nouwen says God is, where God can be found. We have to feel really helpless and find ourselves wanting before we realize to whom we really need to turn to. When I reflect on this, what comes to mind is God asking "Do you trust Me?".  Often I would say 'yes' but find myself actually doing something that says 'no', usually leading to sin. 

When we are afraid of the loneliness, weakness and darkness we try to run from it and/or fill it with things we think  will be the solution. We try everything until we give up and eventually say "Yes Lord, have it Your way". The best part: God doesn't say "I told you so". He welcomes us with open arms. 

The lesson? Find peace in your darkness, lift up your loneliness to God and let Him be glorified in your weakness. 

"We will be scattered, not into service but into the emptiness of our lives where we will see ruin and barrenness, to know what internal death to God's blessings means." - O.C.