What I really want is...

Sometimes I would catch myself acting like a kid who would hug his parents because he knows their holding a wrapped box and he will only get it after the hug. OK maybe that's not the best example but I hope you can kind of get what I'm saying here. The question we must ask ourselves from time to time is "Is it truly the Lord I want or do I come to Him because of something that He's going to give me?" It's something that is quite subtle and one day, we just realize we've lost focused in our Christian journey.

You maybe like me and find yourself asking, "I'm not sure, am I in it for the blessings?" Well, truthfully, we can answer the question a different way. I thought of Job in the bible, what he went through and how he never turned from God.  I then ask myself: "I am so blessed by God, take away all these blessings, will I still stand firm in Him?" Of course the reactive answer is "Yes" but asking this question allows me to reflect on my relationship with the Lord and focus on Him. I find this pretty helpful regardless of what state I actually am.

Brothers and sisters, strive to know the Lord more, strive for that relationship with Him. Desire Him and only Him and I'm sure you'll find growth. When your looking for Him, you will find Him; "ask, and it will be given to you..."(Matthew 7:7)

"There is nothing easier than getting into the right relationship with God, unless it is not God you seek, but only what He can give you" -OC

Life Beyond Life.

...more than gold.

"Success,  notoriety, affection, future plans, entertainment, satisfying work, health, intellectual stimulation, emotional support - yes, even spiritual progress - none of these can be clung to as if they are essential for survival. Only as you let go of them can you discover the true freedom your heart most desires. "

When I read this in Nouwen's book, I immediately thought of the parables of the hidden treasure and the pearl. It is, as always, easier said than done but it does make sense that we should cling only to God.  Dying to self and finding life in God - Matthew 10:39.

Near the final chapters, Nouwen says that "finding treasure without being ready yet to fully own it will make you restless. This is the restlessness of the search for God. It is the way to holiness."  Dear reader, let us be ready, let us be watchful of these things that try to own our hearts, and let us embrace the restlessness. Take your restlessness as a sign that God is calling you to grow deeper in Him.  At the same time we shouldn't worry about who we should become or we fail trust God and miss what He is doing right now.

I don't know about you but I'm trying to digest all this and I am quite overwhelmed.  It is a hard call which we are to follow but it probably wouldn't be worth doing if it wasn't. We can't be afraid to do hard things. Doing hard things is something I normally shy away from but I'm constantly working to right that. I pray that you can also be fearless in the face of hardship.

"If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great." - Tom Hanks

*Last post on Henri Nouwen's book which I started 40days ago.

Loneliness. Weakness. Darkness.

Throughout the next few journal entries, Nouwen clearly shows the dark times that he is experiencing. As I read, the entries become more emotional and a lot of them emphasize the loneliness, weakness and darkness of a person.  Now why is this important? 

I believe that in each and everyone of us there is an area of gloom, that space that longs for love, strength and light.  This place is where Nouwen says God is, where God can be found. We have to feel really helpless and find ourselves wanting before we realize to whom we really need to turn to. When I reflect on this, what comes to mind is God asking "Do you trust Me?".  Often I would say 'yes' but find myself actually doing something that says 'no', usually leading to sin. 

When we are afraid of the loneliness, weakness and darkness we try to run from it and/or fill it with things we think  will be the solution. We try everything until we give up and eventually say "Yes Lord, have it Your way". The best part: God doesn't say "I told you so". He welcomes us with open arms. 

The lesson? Find peace in your darkness, lift up your loneliness to God and let Him be glorified in your weakness. 

"We will be scattered, not into service but into the emptiness of our lives where we will see ruin and barrenness, to know what internal death to God's blessings means." - O.C.

Baseball.

[You might be thinking "Hey, this guy's off topic with his blog". Our walk with God involves different things in our lives.]

This is a shout out to the return of baseball, which I have to admit has a way of captivating me in a way I don't know how. It's just catching and throwing, hitting a small ball and occasional running in which you step on bases called 'bags' and 'plate'. What is it about this game that can get you hooked? There's no body checking or some guaranteed offence, and some would argue that it is pretty slow paced. Yet, if I was asked which sport I enjoy following most, I might just say baseball. Perhaps you readers could help me solve why baseball is so captivating. How did it become, America's favourite pastime?

I play basketball and love the sport and being a Canuck I'm crazy about hockey. With baseball, I'm so proficient (fastball that tops at 40mph probably but it's ok I change speeds and throws all my pitches with knuckball like effects - God clearly did not call me to be a ball player), I just watch the games (mostly the Jays). So I, myself, am shocked that I would say baseball is what I follow and probably get excited about most.

Just to be a bit more clear, I'm just saying baseball is the sport I am most captivated by, doesn't mean it's also my favourite. If I were to rank my top 3 sports based on love of the game (both as a fan and a player) it would be (1) Basketball, (2) Baseball, (3) Hockey. What would your top 3 be?

Have a good spring readers. See you at the ballpark!

No game in the world is as tidy and dramatically neat as baseball, with cause and effect, crime and punishment, motive and result, so cleanly defined.  ~Paul Gallico (from: http://www.quotegarden.com/baseball.html)